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Finton’s Frolic: Should Eddie Getty THAT Much Bready?

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?


Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. It’s been too long, a lot has happened. The season ended, I got COVID, Burnley finally got relegated, and Phil Foden somehow won young player of the year in spite of his horrendous hair cut and Bukayo Saka being a thing. Anyways, I’m just gonna get in to the “meat and drink” of today’s FF instead of torturing the four of you reading this with my hacky jokes. Another thingy ma bob that happened was the Eddie U-Turn.


It all started with the lap of honor following the Everton execution. Many speculated that Eddie Nketiah’s waves were not as heartfelt as some of his teammates’. When I first heard folks saying that — as someone who was not able to gage Eddie’s xWH (expected wave heartfeltedness) — I thought, “oh wow, typical Arsenal fans, reading too much into things.” However, it turns out they were right. Apparently he’s not going anywhere and various sources are saying a mega new deal is basically inevitable.


Here’s the meat and drink. The deal is said to be a fiver that would award Eddie £100,000/week. Does he deserve that kind of cheddar? Does Eddie’s threaty warrant that much bready? Does Eddie Nketie deserve that much cheddie?


Honestly? No. But with that being said the deal still makes sense. Let me explain.


In this insanely odd day in age where English footballers are seen as gold, you just can’t let your young Brits walk away for free. As an American observer of the sport this is honestly so bizarre, but not totally unheard of, especially on the Yanks’ side of the pond. I’ll explain in a bit. Players put in place that supporters can identify with have been a thing forever. Especially state side. And especially in football and basketball.


In the new HBO Max show “Winning Time” about the LA Lakers, it’s shown just how much Larry Bird was endeared by the media, fans and even the league as a whole. He was basically Harry Kane. Undoubtedly good, yet undoubtedly catered to. Meanwhile a player like Magic Johnson, who was just as good, was well-liked, but not to the level of the highly flying “PRling” Bird.


Now, obviously Eddie isn’t the Bird or Johnson of football, and he’s nowhere near as talented as Kane, but he’s just as English. And that’s priceless today. Like a white player in the NBA. Or a white quarterback in the NFL. It’s the sad reality of the way the world works. Shirt sales. Good on Eddie for taking advantage of his Englishness and getting that bag for it.


To be honest Arsenal fans shouldn’t even be that concerned by this new contract. It’s low risk. This fondness of English blood is going nowhere any time soon. If Eddie fails miserably he’ll still get offers. There’s certain rules in place regarding English quotas as well as those other factors mentioned yestergraph.


In conclusion, should Eddie Getty more bready? I said no earlier, but I lied (shoutout Amber Heard), he should because it’s the best decision business-wise and he’s a decent enough player.


If we secure his services for the next couple years, and then sell him, we’ll have garnered a profit. Or, if he excels, money well spent. This is a good move from Arsenal. Especially given the fucked up undertones of why.


Toodloo…!


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