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Finton’s Frolic: Pierre Emerick Aubameyang Should not be Criticised for Eccentricity

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, pimps? 

Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. No, actually, hold on. Welcome to everyone aside from the drab and unseasoned life form known as Toni Kroos, who is surely reading this article. The Real Madrid man, who is somehow even more boring than James Milner, came out criticising Pierre Emerick Aubameyang, and well, I for one won’t stand for it.

Kroos recently called out Auba’s mask donning celebrations and that rightfully triggered a fire in the belly of our talisman. The charismatic enigma proceeded to annihilate the midfielder who probably finds mayonnaise spicy via Twitter and it was a spectacle to behold. 

Such drama attracted opinions of various Twitter users and I was taken aback to see how many agreed with Kroos. Various accounts hiding behind bang average players (typically Manchester United ones) all concurred that the Gabon international’s celebrations were over the top. 

Of course, many of which were just trolls who disagree with anything Auba does. They’d question him over donating his left testicle to a man with only a right. However, an abundance were real people saying that he’s “31 years old” and doing things like that are not acceptable and immature. 

The fact is, that’s fucking bullshit. Pardon my French. Aubameyang and his eccentricity should be celebrated. There are so many lame footballers out there, like Kroos, and they are not nearly as entertaining as that of Auba. Why is it so frowned upon to be an exuberant character in football? 

Here in the states, and more specifically in basketball, we had this guy called Dennis Rodman back in the 90’s. He played with the legendary Chicago Bulls side alongside Michael Jordan and is one of the greatest defensive ballers of all time. He had leopard print hair and piercings all over his face that TSA surely found to be a nightmare. Rodman would go out and do cocaine out of strippers assholes and shit in his spear time. 

While I’m not saying I want Auba to get “rectally involved” with drugs or anything, I find myself enamored by his weirdness and it being called into question is out of order. Teams need players with personalities like Auba’s. He’s the show. The one man rock band. Football needs more of that in my indisputable, right opinion. 

Anyways, that whole exchange drove me up a wall and Kroos has no right to question Auba in the disrespectful way that he did. Our number 14 will never change so don’t fret. Nevertheless, let’s hope one thing does change. The Kroos-labeled “nonsensical” racism and xenophobia in the German national team. 

Anyways, that’s all for this week’s over the top and raunchy edition. Until next time pimps, Toodloo...!

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