Finton's Frolic: No Need Learning to Spell Szoboszlai (Shuh-Bosh-Lie)
By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton's Frolic right opinion zone. Today, I will be discussing how it appears as if Arsenal have missed out on that of Dominik Szoboszlai. And just as an FYI, that is the last time his name will be properly spelled in this piece.
To start on a positive note, there is really only one good thing about the Gunners missing out on the Hungarian, and it is really only a positive for writers or chronic Tweeters. We won't have to spell out his nightmarishly abstract name on a consistent basis. Sorry, but I'm frankly not savvy enough on a keyboard to keep typing it out frequently. Especially not for free. It almost sounds like a spell you'd hear in Harry Potter or something, it's way cooler than my name, admittedly, but still. Come on man, make it easier for the likes of me. Maybe it's so long to avoid snot-nosed writers like me from writing about him. What if his last name was actually just an alias and his real surname is like "Lee" or something? I bet it is. "Dominik Lee".
Anyways, to veer away from his name onto the subject of missing out on him, can anyone really blame "Sha-Bosh-Lie" for choosing RB Leipzig over Arsenal? I mean, they're in the Champions League and well... Leipzig is actually good, unlike us. We're shit.
Yes, Arsenal is a far bigger club than Leipzig and there is no debate. Frankly, the German outfit is actually quite a small team given how new to the scene they are. However, they are a far better stepping stone than us at the moment. We've gone from an elite side that players aspire for long-term, to a stepping stone side, all the way down to the miserable low we're at now. Why would he come here?
"Shuh-Bosch-Ly" has talked publicly about how he dreams of playing for super clubs with Real Madrid said to be his dream side some time in the future. But in painful truth, if "Cho-Boss-Lei" is serious about reaching that prestigious level, moving to the Reds of London would be moronic. It'd be an even more catastrophic mistake than I am.
The fact is, Arsenal is probably the worst run club in the Premier league and we're continuing down a steep slope of mediocrity faster than a beer truck declining an icy mountain road. As excruciating as it is to admit, Arsenal is not the club to be at anymore. Until the atrocious running of proceedings improves, life as a Gooner will continue to suck and the glimmer Arsenal once had will continue to depreciate. But hey, at least we won't have to learn to spell "Scho-Boch-Lye".
That's all, I hate you so much Arsenal. Until next time folks, Toodloo...!