Finton’s Frolic: It’s Time to Admit it… The William Saliba Signing was a Catastrophic Failure
Updated: Sep 21, 2020
By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, pimps?
Welcome one, welcome all to the 25th installment of the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today I am bearing the rotten fruits of bad news. After an exchange with an account who is a staunch supporter of the controversial negativity spewer known as Lee Gunner, I’ve come to a damning conclusion. The 19-year-old central defender, William Saliba, was an absolute failure of a signing.
At the old age of 19, it is fair to say that Saliba being sent to the U-23 side is indicative of the fact that his Arsenal career is over. A player the age of the French central defender should never be given any time whatsoever to grow with a youth academy as impressive as Arsenal’s.
Seeing as he is old enough to purchase alcohol in England, he should without a shadow of a doubt be putting out performances similar to, no scratch that, better than Paolo Maldini. Furthermore, he should be doing so from the start. The fact that he is not seen as good enough to start shows how horrible of a signing he was.
The fact is, we should not be signing young players with long and possibly bright futures, career wise. We just don’t have time. Honestly, any player that is young and does not have Premier League experience should not be anywhere near Arsenal. We need success here and now, who cares about the future? (Shoutout Conservatives). Players like Lewis Dunk, Michael Keane, Joe Gomez, John Stones, John Terry, Chris Smalling, Gary Cahill, and Sam Cowan (English international from 1926-1931, who made a resounding 3 caps for the national team) should be the guys we bring in. Proper players (not because they’re British or anything……).
It’s a shame that like Joe Willock, the Saliba train has come and gone. Fans should have never been excited for a player pipped as one of the most promising defenders in France. The fact that he is likened to Raphael Varane, who plays for a tinpot, and not even British club, Real Madrid, rather than a real central defender like Cowan, who only played for proper teams like Bradford City and Mossley, shows that the kid is a fraud.
Like the legend that goes by the name of Cowan, Saliba’s Arsenal career has died too soon. Thank you for your service, Willy, but it’s determined, you’re just not good enough. I mean, he’s not gonna dominate Jamie Vardy in the reserves, is he? No. Because Vardy would never play in the U-23’s because he’s a proper player. Same can be said about Harry Kane, Jordan Henderson and basically every other English player (barring Raheem Sterling of course).
Anyways, thanks for reading, if you are being skeptical about Saliba or are somehow a fan of Lee Gunner, please never read my articles again. The same goes for anyone who actually agreed with anything I said in this piece. Odds are if you did you are a piece of trash (rubbish).
To take my Brexit Arsenal supporter hat off, as a disclaimer, this entire article was pure sarcasm and if you did not recognize that you probably shouldn't read these anymore. Like Saliba, in terms of the Finton's Frolic, y'all ain't seen nothin' yet buster, it's just going to get more sarcastic from here on out. The night is still young, there is more to come from Saliba and even more excitingly, me. Toodloo…!