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Finton’s Frolic: International Blabber - The Hypocritical Premier League

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?

Welcome one and all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today’s instalment might say the word Arsenal a few times, in fact, I’ll try to squeeze it in an unnatural number of instances. But really, that’s not the main topic of discussion. It would give me give me a brain ulcer (is that a thing? Probably not, but I’m a Pimp Lord, not a doctor) if I didn’t express my thoughts on the Newcastle takeover. So here’s that, whether you care or not.

I just find it sort of funny. The league is chock-full of weird baby blood drinking billionaires already, why does it matter if one more group of horrible exotic animal owners are added? It doesn’t. The current crop of “people” who don’t know how much a jug of milk costs are all shitty in their own ways. Fact is, they just don’t want another mansion on the block. The baby blood punch bowl is already getting gulped down too quickly at their pretentious meet and greets.

Furthermore, their ARSENALs are being pip-squeaked by these newcomers. And these fragile, never worked a day in their life, privileged, pompous, punks don’t like being emasculated. They’re used to being the alpha in the locker room, now they’re in the shower with a porn star. And they don’t like it. It’s funny.

And I’m by no means pardoning Newcastle’s Neanderthals. They’ll freeze their dead bodies like freaks when they pass on as well. But to put these new evil owners under a spot light for all the wrong they’ve done while failing to acknowledge the massive ARSENAL of bones in their own back yard and others is pretty fucking rich of the rich.

Truth be told, this whole system is severely flawed. These way too rich, and way too powerful people don’t even care about football. And it’s killing any remnant left of fairness with an infinite ARSENAL of dollar bill shaped bullets. Of course the Premier League is the best division in the world now. Lamborghinis are a lot faster than Smart Cars. Yes, I know some leagues have a couple Lambos, but England has like 10.

Anyways, the sport we all love dearly is dying right before our very eyes, and just because the Super League cancer didn’t kill it, doesn’t mean another form of the illness that is greed won’t come along and finish off the beautiful game. Welcome to the Premier League, human rights violators. You’ll be happy to know you’re soon to be shoulder to shoulder with people just as awful as you.


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