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Finton's Frolic: Imagine how Good Thomas Partey Feels at Football Since Coming to Arsenal

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?


Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton's Frolic right opinion zone. Today, I will be discussing how good the new signing Thomas Partey must feel at football since linking up with his new club.


Though us, supporters have only seen what seems like thirty seconds of the Ghanaian machine, one thing has already been determined -- the former Atletico man is hands down our best midfielder at the club. Pathetically furthermore, he's steadily approaching the "best player" title too. I'm not sure if that is indicative of just how good Partey is, or how terrible the majority of the current side is. You decide.


Anyways, Partey probably feels like a wind turbine surrounded by mini, personal fans. Or maybe a Megalodon shark amongst goldfish. Or, a Ferrari in and around mini coopers. A brick of gold surrounded by literal bricks of shit. A glacier surrounded by the presence of ice cubes. Or, finally, a Finton's Frolic compared to any blog ever.

The point is, imagine how good Partey feels at football compared to the peasants around him. The guy might not even be that great, the players around the player might just be so awful that he seems God-like. Not likely, but possible. I do think Partey is actually decent at the sport, luckily, but you get my correct jist.


The ever-apparent gulf in class between he and the others raises a real concern that has already been present since before Mikel Arteta or Partey even came to the club -- a really large portion of our squad sucks.


There is genuinely no point in having a few world class players in the squad if a lot of the team is terrible. Sorry, that's facts, Pimps.


The dilemma needs to change -- and fast. Crazily enough, this terrible article actually has a message and a point too. Me saying how Partey must feel extraordinary at football given those around him sucking wind, rather than blowing the opposition away like "Turbine Partey" does is actually looking at the scenario from an optimistic and comedic standpoint. The negative way to look at it is, we may have signed a player like Partey at a bad time. Not surrounding him by quality players may waste a gorgeous player's career -- shoutout Mesut Ozil.

And on that depressing note, that's all I got. The transfer window is drawing to a close and we need to get rid of as much poop as we can. Cue to proverbial bidet my dudes. In the forthcoming Summer window, we've gotta power wash again and make some quality acquisitions as well. Only then, will the Partey signing actually reach it's full potential.


If the world class midfielder is surrounded by other Finton's Frolic-esque (world class) players, then we may have our Arsenal back. That's just how good the Megalodon is. The ball is in your court, Arsenal board, whatcha gonna "E-Du"?


Catch you next week, sorry for wasting a few minutes of your life again, Folks. Toodloo...!

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