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Finton’s Frolic: If Today Was Anything to Go By

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?


Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today, we’re gonna do something a little “diferente”.


Our games keep falling on Saturdays. We wanted this. We wanted to escape the mediocre clutches of the Europa League to finally enter the prestigious Champions League once again. We did the first part. So we’ve got our Saturday matches back. Yay.


And well, that’s when FF’s are supposed to drop. So, in my bizarre Pimp Lord brain, I concocted an idea for when this happens; a new series called “If Today Was Anything to Go By.” It’ll be an on the whistle piece that releases for Saturday matches, exclusively. Hope y’all enjoy, or don’t. Doesn’t really matter, we’re all gonna die soon anyways. There’s an asteroid just a few million miles from earth (that’s actually pretty close). Someone on Twitter said it’s Thomas Partey’s shot against Everton. Haha. Comedy. Anyways.


Mikel Arteta


I did admittedly raise some eyebrows at the lineup. Don’t think Thomas Partey deserved to keep his spot, and the first half was pretty poor in spite of the pair of goals. But a win is a win. World class manager.


Ramsdale


Clean sheet! I’m not sure there’s ever been an Arsenal keeper that I love to see bag a shutout more than the new Rambo. Assured between the sticks and impeccable distribution, especially on the first goal and that one long ball to Martinelli. Also, what a knee slide for Laca's finish. What a player. Lev Yashin who?


Tomiyasu


ナチョモンレアル (Nacho Monreal). If today were anything to go by, which it probably is as this isn’t the first time I’ve said this, Tomiyasu is the new right sided Monreal. A true consistent King and a rightful fan favorite as well. Completed the most passes of any player today. There were a few instances where he ALMOST scored his first goal for the club too, and I took a leap off my couch when those moments came. He may not need the goal, but we all want him to get it. One of our leaders as he always does so by example.


White


Honestly didn’t really even notice him somehow even though he managed the third most passes on the day That’s good. Q(White) a solid display from him. Proper central defender one. Proper old fashioned defender, right? Two tackles, two interceptions, and nine recoveries.


Gabriel


Best defender at the club. Great goal, first one was rightfully, but somewhat harshly chalked away. VAR hasn’t been a fan of the Brazilians lately. Teetered on his yellow well all game long. Some sloppy giveaways too. Proper chaotic lad.


Tierney


Nice little headed assist from KT. Noggin to noggin. He’s been sorely missed and is one of, if not our main creative outlet.


Partey


Had some bright moments but really didn’t get any fans back on side. If this Saturday match is anything to go by, I would say “PartEH.”


Xhaka


Even more eh than Partey. Just not great. Lokonga deserves a spot more than both pivot players.


Saka


Can’t believe he didn’t score. Lovely assist to Laca but should’ve had one for himself. Unlucky. Lively as always. Our other main creator.


Ødegaard


The new Frank Lampard, Rambo, or some other goal scoring midfielder. And a world class header of the ball...? Three in three for Ø. He divides opinion, but was solid throughout and is always willing to try stuff, creatively. Best Norwegian in the world next to Ylvis.


Martinelli


Another mark for Martinelli, this time with an assist. His energy is boundless and he deserves to play every match. Our most exciting player, for me.


Lacazette


Great positioning, good goal and nice bit of “bastarding” as always. Needs to shoot more though. World would be a better, and safer place if everyone was just as reluctant to shoot as Laca, though. Pacifistezette.


Subs/Others


Holding


Didn’t do much aside from show off his shiny new hairdo. Kept the clean sheet well though and you know how I feel about hair on the FF. What a “remontada??????”


Lokonga


Deserved to start for me. Didn’t do much upon coming on, but solid.


Pepe


He’s alive! Or is he? I’m not sure he ever actually came on. But good to see Arteta actually try him. He did cost like £72 million.


Auba


Strip him of the captaincy. There hasn’t been a more ill-disciplined capitano since Jack Sparrow, and his poor behavior is actually sort of endearing. I’m sick of this shit. Keep him out. Pathetic. Totally unprofessional.


Toodloo…!


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