Finton’s Frolic Fashion Focus: I’ll say it. I like it!
By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. It’s an international break or “inter lull” as the Arseblog guys and Alfie Culshaw would say, so I’m gonna get even weirder than usual. I guess you can say this will be a Finton’s Frolic Fashion Focus. First of its kind! Let’s get into the shirt in the headline photo made by some person that I don’t know and I think I’m supposed to.
Some like it, few started to tolerate it once they saw Ian Wright donning it, but most hate it. I can’t say I’m surprised though. Most people have what I’d call vanilla tastebuds and think anything with a shred of uniqueness is inherently ugly or “wrong”. Those same people think vanilla is the best ice cream flavor. Or, if they’re feeling bold that day … chocolate! Woo-ee! You’re so out there. Season your food. Hug your dad.
Hemingways, we haven’t even detailed the shirt and I’m already insulting those who dislike it. Apologies, but if you hate it you are wrong. This is the self-proclaimed right opinion zone after all.
So if you haven’t seen it, it’s got some crazy red and blue swirly pattern on the torso portion; red and white leopard print on the sleeves; and a bright white, hollow Arsenal badge where you can see the pattern behind it. It’s a lot, I’ll admit it. But that’s why it’s dope.
I think people struggle with flashy things, especially across the pond. Sorry, not sorry for generalizing. I get it though. Personas de Inglatera really only see brightness from the sun three days out of the year, so when something as vivid as this camisa is brought into existence, many don’t know how to react.
Others won’t care about the vibrance, but instead how it doesn’t match. How it’s a tiger on the chest and back, and a leopard on the sleeves. But again, that’s a positive in my eyes. It’s a “tiegard” or “leper” combo, sort of like a liger. Apparently it’s really cruel to birth those, by the way. Feel that one, homie.
Mini sidebar: what the fuck is matching? I like how we, as a human race, came up with what colors are called and everything about them. And now we’ve just decided that certain ones, or patterns don’t go together. Weird.
Anywho, the shirt is refreshingly unique and seeing as they’ve already released 7,486 this season, who cares if one’s a bit obnoxious in its appearance? In fact, I’m so sick and tired of the club releasing new, boring things.
They’ve done training tops, winter wear, and shirts that are made entirely from Bukayo Saka’s armpit hair, explaining the release by saying, “well this one is different because it’s blue.” This new drop, however is actually cool and needs no explanation because the pattern says a thousand words.
Now the one gripe I do have with the top is the yellowish “Emirates Fly Better” logo. The color reminds me of that weird, low grade vanilla ice cream that all you dry losers like. Classic call back, that’s called comedy, Pimps. It should just be white like the badge. It’d look more natural. Let the shirt grab the attention, not the stupid airport sponsor.
That’s really all the words I can type about a shirt. So I’m gonna stop writing now.
Go outside, get a friend and buy that shirt so the amigos you make aren’t people that find chocolate ice cream exciting. I mean shit man, they make flavors with cookie chunks and all that jazz, there’s just better stuff out there. Live a little, saltine cracker.