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Finton’s Frolic: Dani Ceballos is the Ultimate Polygamist in Football

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?

Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today I will be discussing how Dani Ceballos is the ultimate polygamist in football.

For those that don’t know, that weird “P word” I used is somebody who is in multiple relationships. Monogamy is the antonym of the word that describes Ceballos--the former phrase means having just one significant other. Like me with Mikel Arteta.

As of late, you may have caught a glimpse of the fact that the paella eating man who sips estrella does not buy into a “one-love” kind of way of living at all. After admitting he dreams of moving back to Real Madrid it became clear that he is merely using Arsenal as a proverbial stepping stone of sorts in hopes of winning back the heart of his gorgeous ex. The SB Nation Site Managing Madrid, reported the following quote from our midfielder.

“A third year on loan? No, my goal is to return to Real Madrid and be important at the best club in the world,” Ceballos told Alvaro Benito on El Laguero.

“I believe that one day I will come back and be able to return the affection that the fans showed me. For various reasons, I didn’t leave the club in the best manner,” Ceballos revealed."

I’ll be the first to admit this left a sour taste in my mouth, initially, however after thinking about the matter it did start to make some sense. Madrid is a great club and a Spaniard like our current #8 having a dream of dating… I mean playing for the world class club like Los Blancos is far from crazy. The fact is, if it was not for Zinedine Zidane’s strange and strong disliking for the player he’d probably never have come to North London.

But then after going to Ceballos’ Twitter page, I came to a frightening realization. The guy is a footballing polygamist. It’s not just Madrid he’s “cheating” on Arsenal with. He still flirts with his other ex-lover Real Betis too. He voiced his support for the team in which he reportedly supports as they were set to square up to their arch rivals, Sevilla.

But wait, it gets worse. The top comment on said Tweet from the unfaithful midfielder is a photo of him as a youngster in a fucking Sevilla shirt. You can’t make this shit up, people. That is indicative of the fact that polygamy is a born-with attribute for Ceballos. It’s clearly some sort of sick game to him in his adulthood too. That’s like cheating on Arsenal with the Spuds.

And on that note, remember when our inferiors, Tottenham were also battling for Ceballos’ loan signature and he released the video of him tearing an “anonymous” top off and putting that of the Reds of London’s on? I’m not saying it did not feel good to see Spurs fans in despair, but this guy is far from an angel. It seems an awful and unquenchable fetish from my perspective.

Where exactly this facetious polygamist’s career goes is still to be determined, but Ceballos should realize something. If he actually wants a future with his hot ex, he may have to be more monogamous. His manager, Zidane, only played for four clubs in his entire professional career. There have been four teams mentioned in this installment of the ever-incredible, sure to be read by Zizou, Finton’s Frolic alone.

Loyalty is an endearing characteristic, Dani boy, it’s time to drop the bachelor lifestyle and snap up a committed relationship.

That’s all for this week's installment folks, thanks for reading, I have no idea what is wrong with you people. Toodloo…!

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