Finton’s Frolic: Bringing Back the Mint Kit Could be the Solution
By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one, and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Things have been lousy lately. Everything sucks. In spite of the win at Chelsea, myself and most others are still trapped in an apathetic state. Disregard my last Frolic where I spoke about how the future is hopeful. Everything is one fire and we’re all gonna die.
We need a fresh approach, and something cool enough to put out the flames. We need to improve in basically every department and way that’s possible. To, Arsenal should bring back the mint green kit. That will solve everything. Shoutout to site writer down under Allan Riley for inspiring this week's installment.
The boldness that can only be described as bravely obnoxious is what this side is missing. Say what you want about the opinion dividing top, but it has more cojones than Arsenal do. It screams: “I’m teal, and there’s absolutely fucking nothing you can do about it.” Meanwhile, we, as a club aren’t even sure what our identity is, on or off the pitch. We’ve got less about us than an inanimate object.
I miss the pieces of mint gum bustling around the pitch in a tongue buzzing flash. Remember the screamer of a free kick Granit Xhaka scored away to Crystal Palace? His flamboyant and controversial smock surely played some part in that. Since the kit was so eye catching, and distracting, Xhaka felt the pressure alleviated. Many, including the ever-reliable Fabrizio Romano have actually reported that it is the one Arsenal shirt ever made that is more controversial than Xhaka. Unfortunately, I can’t use the quote he said because I’d have to pay £500 to do so. So just trust me. Blindly.
Without the minty goodness, the players have too much attention on them. Many fans have rightly called each individual’s mentality under pressure into question. But what those supporters fail to realize is these guys are used to their clothes taking some pressure off of them. Arsenal players aren’t diamonds, they don’t become beautiful in adversity, the mint green top does though.
The perspiration that slips through the fibers onto its forefront make it all the more beautiful. Splotches of “player juice” on the arm pits and backs made the hard work committed to apparent. Now, there’s no indication of the guys busting a gut at all. We need to see their salty secretion to appreciate their efforts. And they need to feel liked, loved and praised to play well.
So, you may lack any kind of fashion sense, and dislike the kit, and that’s fine. But my points still stand. In its conspicuousness, “la camisa de menta” provides some much needed sexiness and bravado to the team. Mikel Arteta must pressure the board to do three things this summer. Spend some money, go away forever, and bring back the vivid, and much forgotten jersey.
If the pullover makes a much needed return, we may finally get our Arsenal back. Ek in? No. Mint in.