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Finton's Frolic: 55 Things Worse Than the Short-Term Martin Ødegaard Injury

Updated: Dec 31, 2021

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. In light of the utter meltdown that came after Martin Ødegaard’s injury that turned out to be completely unserious, I figured I’d concoct this bad boy. Without further adieu, here are 50 things worse than a short-term Ødegaard injury.

  1. A long term injury for Ødegaard.

  2. A really long-term injury for Ødegaard.

  3. A really, really long-term injury Ødegaard.

  4. A career ending injury for Ødegaard.

  5. Qatar hosting the World Cup.

  6. War.

  7. Racism.

  8. Getting beat up by your mom.

  9. Getting beat up by your dad.

  10. Getting beat up by your brother.

  11. Getting beat up by your sister.

  12. Getting beat up by your grandma.

  13. Getting beat up by a gnat.

  14. Being tortured in any capacity by anybody.

  15. Stubbing your toe.

  16. Stubbing your toe so hard it breaks.

  17. Diarrhea.

  18. Having to get a new prosthetic toe because you stubbed it so hard it fell off.

  19. Dropping your phone in the toilet.

  20. Being stuck in traffic.

  21. Living in Tampa.

  22. Getting impaled by a walrus.

  23. Being impaled by two walruses.

  24. Being impaled by two walruses, and a narwhal.

  25. Locking your keys in your car.

  26. Shkodran Mustafi.

  27. When the barber cuts your hair too short.

  28. When you’re balding.

  29. Suffering a power outage.

  30. A solar flare.

  31. An asteroid hitting the earth.

  32. The moon colliding with the earth.

  33. An asteroid hitting the earth just after you’ve been beaten up by a gnat.

  34. The moon and an asteroid crashing into the earth at the same time.

  35. People that type in all lowercase in hopes that it makes them look cool.

  36. Tik Tok dances.

  37. People that watch Tik Tok dances.

  38. Ariana Grande fans.

  39. A flight being delayed.

  40. Arsenal.

  41. Tottenham.

  42. Budweiser.

  43. Bud Light.

  44. Having to work outside when it’s hot.

  45. Having to work outside when it’s cold.

  46. Gabriel’s hairline.

  47. My hairline.

  48. Mesut Özil Stans.

  49. That one William account dedicated to Özil.

  50. Being brutally murdered by William as he tells you why Özil is greater than Ødegaard will ever be.

  51. Having Stan Kroenke as an owner.

  52. Running out of hot water.

  53. Running out of toilet paper.

  54. Running out of things worse than the short-term Ødegaard injury.

  55. The fact Ødegaard may not play for us next season.

Point is, there are way worse things than Ødegaard being injured. Is the loanee amazing? Of course. Has he changed us for the better? Totally. Would I undoubtedly be impaled by two walruses and a narwhal to keep him healthy? Psychotically, maybe yes. That said, his injury could’ve been way more terrible than it turned out to be. Stop going into meltdowns so easily and hope for the best for the rest of our players going into the rest of the break.


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